You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
