My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
