We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
