It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My ATM looks so different sober.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
