why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
