I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
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