she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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