i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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