I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize