So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
