...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Randomize
