Im at strip club and am horny
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
