Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
