no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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