in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
