You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
