i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
soo... how was my night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
