we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
