She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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