I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
