hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
