Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
