You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize