he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
