So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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