thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
