Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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