i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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