How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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