I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
