He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize