it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
