What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
