VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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