her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
