Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
