please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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