We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
