I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
