Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
