Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
