just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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