LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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