so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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