no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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