My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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