with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize