Don't make out with my wife yet
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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