His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize