everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I came so hard my ears popped.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize