...so i touched it.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize