An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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