.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
