ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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