I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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