True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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