i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
